Friday night, alone.... At this hour, I know what I'm usually doing. Having a conversation with a special person. Well, not tonight. Instead, I spend time alone in an empty apartment with a dog. Not much of a conservation there. The phone hasn't rang for hours. No one is at the door. The e-mail picks up only spam. All I hear is the sound of the fans kicking in the venting system.Out of boredom, I watch Forrest Gump on TV. I love the movie. It's a classic! While I was watching the movie, I was noticing the ironies in it and how it relates to my life. In a way, I can relate to Forrest and Jenny's love affair. Sadly, the end result will not be the same. Which made me cry...
Things been happening in my life lately that really got me thinking. Thinking about things like- What kind of man am I? Where am I at this point of life? Why did I do that? Ect. Recently, I've made some bad choices that affected my outlook in my life. The one's I regret dearly. I've made these these choices out of fear, anger, desperation and insecurity. I've done things totally way out of my character. Little did I know, the cause and the ripple effect that I created.
The choices I've made led me to this point. I lost the woman I loved and burned many bridges around me. I'm riding an emotional roller coaster that I have a deep desire to get off.
Saturday morning- I wake up and face the day alone. As I look back at I what wrote, all of this is not in vain. I've learned some valuable lessons here. I'm going have to use my head better than letting my emotions get the better of me. I'm going have to trust in a situation better. And that the truth hurts no matter how you "fix" it.
Today, I'm going start off with a clean slate, a fresh start, and try to resume a normal life. Well, off to finish unpacking....
